Friday 4 May 2018

Bad Mom...

Story Number 3… My Mommy says you can’t play with me.

Just the other day I spent about 3-4 hours cleaning up after three kids a little older than her that came over to play. I cleaned up mud. Swept up sand. I washed dirty hand prints off the walls. I even had to wipe boogers off the walls (whattheactualfuck).

These kids are rowdy, noisy and messy AF. They have broken most of her toys, and have walked off with some of them. It’s not pleasant. I’m pretty sure these kids have parents but I don’t know if the parents know they have kids. They would come over about 2 – 3 times a day for about an hour each time and the four kids together eat me out of house and home. They started coming over at 7:30am on a Saturday and that’s when it got a bit much so eventually I spoke to them nicely and told them they needed to spend more times with their Mommy’s and Daddy’s and less time at me.

V asked me why I did this. I was honest with her about it, I usually am and that’s probably a stupid thing because kids remember more than you think. I told her they’re too messy, that they bring sand into the house (they literally bring sand into the house by the handfuls) and that they break everything. I told her they can do that at their own house – not mine. She said “oh okay” and we carried on and had a great weekend.

Fast-forward to four days ago.

I got home and was in the parking lot of the complex getting bags out the car. Three kids walked up to myself and V with an adult. The kids all said hello to V by name. The adult said hello to her. I had never seen the adult before so I asked who she was. She told me her name was Sylvia and was their Mom.

The kids asked if they could come over and play and in my head I was like “no, no, nooooooo”…

Before I could answer my little asshole did.

“My Mommy said you can’t play at us because you guys are dirty and break things. She said you must do that at your house”.

I…can’t believe she JUST said that. Whyyyyyyyyyyy?!

My only natural response to that was “I never said that V’. And V looked at me like I was the biggest moron in the world and said “Yes, you did. You said it the other day when they put mud on the wall”. Her and her fucking treacherous memory.

For about 30 seconds Sylvia and I had a stare down. Things got tense. I think I saw a tumbleweed in the distance behind her. She easily could have taken me, her and her three kids would have given me a serious beat down. Instead she gave me a filthy look, and turned around and stormed off. I breathed a sigh of relief. Holy shit. That was close. 

They haven’t been back, I have managed to fix some of her toys and I no longer have to clean mud off the walls. What she said was not really that bad. It was the truth. 

And besides, I have more time with her now and her boogers are the only one’s I don’t mind cleaning.

Good little a-hole. Mommy loves you.







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