Story
Number 3… My Mommy says you can’t play with me.
Just the other day I spent about 3-4 hours cleaning up after three kids a little older than her that came over to play. I cleaned up mud. Swept up sand. I washed dirty hand prints off the walls. I even had to wipe boogers off the walls (whattheactualfuck).
These kids are rowdy, noisy and
messy AF. They have broken most of her toys, and have walked off with some of
them. It’s not pleasant. I’m pretty sure these kids have parents but I don’t
know if the parents know they have kids. They would come over about 2 – 3 times
a day for about an hour each time and the four kids together eat me out of
house and home. They started coming over at 7:30am on a Saturday and that’s
when it got a bit much so eventually I spoke to them nicely and told them they
needed to spend more times with their Mommy’s and Daddy’s and less time at me.
V asked me why I did this. I was
honest with her about it, I usually am and that’s probably a stupid thing
because kids remember more than you think. I told her they’re too messy, that
they bring sand into the house (they literally bring sand into the house by the
handfuls) and that they break everything. I told her they can do that at their
own house – not mine. She said “oh okay” and we carried on and had a great
weekend.
Fast-forward to four days ago.
I got home and was in the parking
lot of the complex getting bags out the car. Three kids walked up to myself and
V with an adult. The kids all said hello to V by name. The adult said hello to
her. I had never seen the adult before so I asked who she was. She told me her
name was Sylvia and was their Mom.
The kids asked if they could come
over and play and in my head I was like “no,
no, nooooooo”…
Before I could answer my little
asshole did.
“My Mommy said you can’t play at
us because you guys are dirty and break things. She said you must do that at
your house”.
I…can’t believe she JUST said
that. Whyyyyyyyyyyy?!
My only natural response to that
was “I
never said that V’. And V looked at me like I was the biggest moron in
the world and said “Yes, you did. You said it the other day when they put mud on the wall”.
Her and her fucking treacherous memory.
For about 30 seconds Sylvia and I
had a stare down. Things got tense. I think I saw a tumbleweed in the distance
behind her. She easily could have taken me, her and her three kids would have
given me a serious beat down. Instead she gave me a filthy look, and turned
around and stormed off. I breathed a sigh of relief. Holy shit. That was close.
They haven’t been back, I have
managed to fix some of her toys and I no longer have to clean mud off the
walls. What she said was not really that bad. It was the truth.
And besides, I have more time with her now and her boogers are the only one’s I don’t mind cleaning.
And besides, I have more time with her now and her boogers are the only one’s I don’t mind cleaning.
Good little a-hole. Mommy loves
you.
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