Spoil the child and spare the rod

3/11/2016

I'm so excited I might pass out from bouncing up and down. 

A few nights ago, over a glass of red. Okay. A couple glasses. And whilst checking my email account I saw an email from Groupon about some deals. I had a light bulb moment and remembered I had Groupon credits. Before I go into what I did with said credits I'd like to let off some steam and explain how I got these credits.

10 months after having V I met a guy that started at the company I worked at. He was only supposed to be there for 3 months. 3 months turned into 2 years. But before I get into him let me explain the creation of my little a-hole first.

In my first post I mentioned that I was a single Mom. It was by choice but also kinda forced. So, the baby daddy was basically a grown ass man with a malfunctioning brain. When I found out I was pregnant I was already 9 weeks along. I was laying on the bed one day and said out loud "babe, I don't remember when I last had my monthly. I think I might be pregnant". And the fact that I had been chundering up everything aside from my kidneys was a clear indication that something was growing. 

He thought I was taking the piss but regardless went and got me three digital Clear Blue pregnancy tests. I did my business in a cup and stuck all three tests in. And one by one, they all started showing results that showed me that I was 9-12 weeks along and with those numbers came a generic smiley face underneath it. I remember this day clearly. It was my parents anniversary. I was sitting on the side of the bath tub as I watched these tests show me my future and I burst into tears. V's sperm donor (that's what he is, he has never met her...doesn't even know her name), did his usual dumbass move and asked me a dumb question...

Sperm donor: "why are you crying, aren't you happy?"

Me: *in loud wails..."do I fucking look happy??"

Sperm donor: "well at least we know my fish swim"

I told Sperm donor that if we were going to do this he had to clean up his act, he promised to do this. In the two weeks that followed he not only broke his promise but he got worse at being a decent human. So I made the choice to leave and hack it alone. Things went tits up when I did this and shit got really messy. Messy is putting it lightly. He went full fucking tilt psychotic. Not becasue I ruined the concept of us being a happy family, but only because he believed if he couldn't have me then no one else could. I am not going to go into detail about what happened. I made it out of that and so did V. That's all I will say. 

So fast forward 9 months, I had healthy 3.4kg baby girl. I had sworn off men at this point.

Enter the recent ex 10 months after V's big arrival. 

He was everything I never knew I always wanted. Smart as hell, funny, sarcastic and crazy attractive with his partially bald head. He is literally the male version of me. But he was everything I should have run away from as well. He is and always will be the best and worst thing that has happened to me. He was almost the reason for my complete undoing. Almost. He hurt me, not only emotionally but physically too, and I just got sick and fucking tired of being sick and tired. I got tired of not feeling strong and good enough. We fell in love in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout and this is what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.

After we broke up (2 years later) he told me this "Baby, the moral of the story about hooking up with people you work with is that you don't get your pussy where you get your paycheck."
He moved to New York on the 13/10/2016. And I wish him well. And also, fuck him. Just sayin...

So New York ex is obsessed with massages and being pampered.
I bought him a spa voucher on Groupon when I found a great deal for R1200. The original package was R3800. I'd like to take the time to mention that as a 30 year old (semi attractive) woman I have never had a massage in my life and I'd further like to mention that I would give him one every single night for an hour without fail. When I saw this deal I didn't think twice in buying it because I figured it would give me a break in giving him massages and would temporarily help me with the developing carpal tunnel syndrome in my wrists.

Then I found out that he cheated on me, amongst the million other things and we broke up. And he had the fucking cheek to ask me when his voucher would expire and how he could go about using this voucher...so I did what is probably the only really nasty and childish thing I've ever done and I had the voucher refunded back to me in credits.



And so I bought V some Christmas presents. I got her a talking plush toy Olaf. He's amazing and he says all the cute phrases from Frozen, giggles and he spins on his bum. I got her a unique and gorgeous looking wooden abacus with handmade wooden beads. 

And with the few remaining credits I got her a princess tent. V is a major tomboy but her and I have this fantasy game we play where we look for fairies in the garden and capture them. She's been begging me for a tent and I didn't want to get another one because the other pop up tents I got her always fall apart. This one is made from original tent material and has reinforced high velocity aluminum poles for durability. 

So yesterday when the tent and the other purchases were delivered I decided to surprise her with it and keep the other gifts for Christmas. I set the tent up in a shade covered part of the garden and I put throw cushions and a soft blanket on the inside for her to be comfy on. I put all of her favorite toys in there and I patiently (not so patiently) waited for her to come home from school. When she got home I changed her into her tutu, fairy wings, tiara and gave her the plastic jar she uses when we 'catch' fairies. 

I then let her walk outside and she saw the tent. She looked confused for a bit, then covered her eyes for a few seconds with her hands and when she removed them she shouted "Santa was here".

I felt good. I felt great actually. And we played in the tent until we said goodnight to the moon. Because even little a-holes and their asshole makers need sleep.