The tent is going tits up

4/11/2016  

So the princess tent I got for V may be the death of me. Asshole has since insisted on eating in the tent. A-hole also wants to potty in the tent ONLY. None of us are allowed near her tent when she's in it except for her poor cat, who is aptly named Slipper after Cinderella's cat. 

The bloody cat doesn't even protest because it knows it's pointless. V zipped her and Slipper up in the tent for an hour today. I then hear V say to the cat "no Slipper, you must drink your tea you bad kitty". It was more a demand than a request. And I am the only one who can pick up the asshole in V's tone and I could clearly pick up that this kid meant business about this cat drinking its damn tea.

So I stuck my head in just to check that the cat was still okay and that you know...it was still breathing and shit, and when I did that I felt hot and stuffy it was in the tent so I promptly removed the cat because I saw a few scenarios play out.

Scene 1: the cat claws it's way to safety thus destroying the tent and leaving me with a devastated toddler.

Scene 2: the cat claws it's way through my toddler thus leaving me with an injured human and a bad kitty who will need a new home.

Scene 3: the cat dies from being force fed apple juice (that was the tea), thus leaving me with a devastated toddler and a kitty position to fill.

Yup. This was hard work. And all in a days work.

Fast forward a few hours, the sun was going down and the crippling heat was starting to make it's way out. I was doing light gardening with V. I had four small ferns that I wanted to plant and I wanted V to help me. 

She dug the holes, I put the ferns in and she filled the holes up. Teamwork, yo. And also, I suck at digging at holes and recently did a manicure all by myself and it took me 10 minutes to dig the wet soil out from under my index finger. Ain't nobody got time for that. 

I had my earbuds in while we were going green and I was listening to Metallica... I became way too involved in Kirk Hammett's bomb ass guitar skills and so did my head movements. After a while I glanced over at V and saw she's bobbing her head up and down. I asked her what she was doing and she tells me that she's moving her head like Mom because Mom loves rock. 

God. I broke out into the biggest smile. I couldn't help it. She does these kind of things all the time. She will say and do the most incredibly random things that just make me want to explode with love and pure adoration. I do love this asshole. She is definitely her Mama's child.

Mama bear signing out. For now. 

Good night moon. I love you big, I love you small, I love you more...